go of that ski rope I’m like Paul Trevino made Tron I was like I have got on and my dad says the last.’ Let me tell you something that no one in here tonight this is the worst possible piece of information you could have how many folks remember the first time your dad gets you to do anything fun you will experience for the first time that your dad sucks at Everything nobody in here.’ Seventy head tell you I remember my dad getting me to sex on Sunday and build a ramp into the lake this thing was like 13 feet high and 45 feet long 112 degrees cement in 10-foot sharks in the water but I don’t know who should things break so by law they have to chase live bait for the sharks to keep them in the lake don’t get caught in the briefing and the final piece it.’ Of the puzzle there was half a canoe at the bottom of it like I said my father loved us not rich it was half a canoe you couldn’t use a whole one now everybody in here tonight whatever you do listen to this if you ever go water skiing on a lake and your father built a ramp do not. ‘ Every time my father had my brother hold the rope had to hold the ski rope and Gun the bed I was there too much smoke it. End of my life in it he hit the bed gun an acre of kid in my time. ‘ now I’ll do that peace every one of you what do I need of it pouring off by the bed of beef Rick estimated to feet in the air and I let go of that ski rope is headed back to the water born to death before my father had me but I did three times I go to the baby that does not let go of the ski rope his tire at the bottom.’ My dad and on the boat 30 yards behind me doing his version of the whip see the same thing because they’re a conservative to put on the skis I’ve ever sent so you start
.` go of that ski rope all day on Sunday I just kept getting up and falling down getting up and falling down at the end of the day my dad put the boat on the trailer you know how it is when you’re a kid you skied all day you have a long drive home you fall asleep instantly fuel the car pulls into the driveway my father doesn’t even stop the car just stops the car on put it in Park he says get in let’s go in the garage get in the truck let’s does I’m gonna learn to ski right now alright buddy I’m here to teach you my pants are wet I can’t feel my body let’s go get up in the bed of the truck I’m gonna teach you how to breath buddy and he hooked the ski rope to the hitch of the truck said you ready yeah I’m ready he dropped it imagine ripping apart the sit in your diaper in your underwear screaming I’m flying I’m using oxygen my father standing there looking at me with the skin.
It’s just the goddamn ski rope from here to God and my dad holding on to his old ski can’t figure out why I’m not getting up he gave me one last chance he hits the gas left me there my father fished me out of the lake at the end of the day left me in the truck naked drove me home was laughing the whole time but I loved it I loved it because he was involved I loved it because he gave me everything he could I know that now I didn’t know when I was a kid but this guy was the greatest father ever had the greatest gift we ever had is he attacked our ass okay we did not have that soft kid glove parenting that crap makes people pets it makes kids pets not people I was it my dad prince pet I was his son and I proud that he helped me do that he had helped me get through the hardest stuff my whole life my dad are set up that funeral for my mom he built the casket we buried my mom in a casket he built for her and my dad was broken he’d lost the only thing he loved in life and there I was pushing him around.
In a wheelchair my grandparents on one side my friends on the other side and I was thinking my whole life I thought I was a loser but my dad had spent his whole life teaching me how to get through the struggle that’s this life see I was late to realize I didn’t have a countdown dad my friend stopped me and he goes Tiba you don’t have a beat-down dad you have a dad that gave you everything he had to get through this time and he had and then I realized epic fails in our lives people telling us we can’t do it people don’t let us do it people telling us we shouldn’t do it are the greatest gifts we have these failures give us the strength to get through what we have to get through implies parents have excuses to stop doing that stop giving your kids reasons to lay down and be cute give them the tools they need teach them to ski teach them to fight teach them to build a jet ski out of a chainsaw and sign laws and a hole in the bottom show him they can get through this because one day you’ll be gone and they’re gonna have to get through this and how to do they need the strength to get up and fall down and get up and fall down and get up and fall and just as I got up and fell down and got up and fell down folks life’s a struggle and a war don’t stop fighting till you’re hold off God bless folks. Thank you.
The Conclusion
go of the ski rope I was determined I was getting up and my dad comes to the back of the boat he looks at me with pity in his eyes and he goes you know buddy most people don’t get up at five how many do cups 5 year olds good enough for me I’m going to do the weekend is over in my four-year-old brother gets up that’s when I discover the epic fail runs deep in my family that’s why I say when your car runs out of gas that measures it’s an epic fail but when your dad uses you to wipe up the fuel spill that’s a family tradition that’s an epic fail I am Christopher Titus thank you guys very much God bless you goodnight.