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Table of Contents
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To Conclude
Yeah he’s training to get his black belt. Very cool. Wow, yeah karate is one of those things where if I wanted to do it, I would be immediately really good at it. Oh really? Like, I’m not saying I’d give my own Dojo, but I’d probably get a black belt pretty quickly. I’m saying week one, I got my black belt for sure.
That’s crazy hearing all those stories about people from high school. You know, the craziest thing about back then is that I had a huge crush on you all through my school. He did.
Yeah, you want some? Um, probably. They totally ruined my Taekwondo routine, but yeah, I guess you said to actually take a drag. Is this how you do it?
Can I ask you something? Why are you always lifting weights and doing P90X and stuff? I never really thought of it. Um, I guess I always just wanted to be somebody that nobody ever messes with, you know?
You wait here, I’m gonna go get the rest of that vodka. Don’t touch it, and you’re dead. She’s gonna be pissy you’re here. I’ll be quiet. laughs Wake up, let’s go and get another drink. You wanted it, right? Now. Yeah, I’m fine. Okay, let’s slip a little.
Shannon, Pat, you home? Thank you. foreign holy Shannon.
I love you. I mean, you’re everything to me. And I know it’s been crazy lately, and I know we haven’t made love in two months, and that’s okay, I’m okay with that. But there’s a question that I have been meaning to ask you for a really long time, and I really think now is the perfect time to ask it. Will you take my hand in marriage? Oh hey, see, the sinks in there. Oh man, oh man, it’s very nice, unexpected. What made you want to go out? You know, I thought it’d be a real treat. Well, thank you for letting us know a little sooner or what, dressed up a little bit. Oh no, you look great the way you are. Um, Shanny, there’s actually a question I wanted to ask you. Hey, fancy meeting you guys here. Amy, what are you doing here? I just thought I’d come take a long get a little mush, with your eyes. Hey, can I get you something to drink? Can I see your list of bitters? Never mind, what are you guys having? Frangelico? Oh, that sounds fancy. It’s not, trust me. I’ll just have a large glass of gin, thanks. You know, Shannon, you’ve got the taste and liquor of an 11th grader. Amy run me again while you’re here? Oh, I just wanted to come be with my family that I love so dearly. You know, I happen to notice that you haven’t fixed the chair or returned One Hour Photo. Not yet, but I will. I think they have a very liberal return policy, so I think we still have a few more days. That was the simplest thing you had to do, it seems like it should have been pretty easy to take care of it. It will be really easy to take care of once I set my mind to it and initiate the process. And when will that be? Right after I fix the chair. They bring bread to the table. Excuse me, can we get some bread? Yeah, I don’t work here. Okay, can you find someone who does? Do you know what your problem is? That was important. With a different sister, your complete and utter lack of responsibility. Oh no, Mom’s yelling at me again. Don’t fucking say that. Don’t censor me, Stalin. You’re insane, do you hear the things that you say sometimes? What do you want me to say? You’ve been up my ass this entire trip. Trip? This is not fucking Semester at Sea. We’re only here because Nana is dying. Interactions. Not now, Pat. Treating this like it is your own personal vacation with no consideration for what is actually important. You’re a child, drinking all the time and screwing guys, is that what children do? Drink and have sex? You know what I mean, me of why I came down to this little Road House, great choice of venue by the way, Pat. Oh, thanks. I have a question for you, Shannon. I was poking around your room earlier, and I happened to come across a little something. Oh, perfect, you’re going through my things again. You knew where Nana’s will was this entire time, and you thought it was okay to hide it from me? So you read my diary, and now you’re rifling through my luggage? We are both gonna inherit $75,000 and you thought it was okay to hide it from me? Well, I only hid it from you because it’s pretty obvious that you only came back for the money. Hey, that’s fucking bullshit. And beware the motherfucking gin, thank you. And see, I think you’ve been hiding a lot of things lately. Oh, really? Like what? I don’t know, like French kissing the shit out of Ted. You French kissed Ted? That’s not… That’s not what that sounds like. That’s… That’s… That’s not… That’s not… I was confused. That’s not what it sounds like. It’s… It’s like a funny story. Um, there’s shrimp on this carpet. It’s not even a seafood restaurant, babe. Now look what you’ve done. Packed. Oh, Jesus fucking Christ. So just again, I’m a pastor, and I’m sorry. You just… You’re scaring the fucking shit out of me. Yeah, uh, where are you going? I’m looking for my sister’s boyfriend. How’s it going, by the way? Shannon, I do want to ask, we’re doing great. Thanks so much for asking. Your tone. Um, hmm? What do you have against me? I just gotta ask. Honestly, your haircut. You look like John Edwards joined the Hitler Youth. That hurt my feelings, you know? Clinical trust issues, if I may. That’s what my therapist says. You really, really have trouble letting people in. I mean, you withhold love actively from people. Okay, you’re doing it with me. You do it to Shannon, clearly. And I bet you do it with everyone back home in LA. What do you know? I know a lot more than you think, actually. You know, if you had a little more faith, miraculous things would start to happen. I’m gonna… Okay, if one were to want to stop withholding love, what would one do about that? So, are you asking for a friend? Or… I’m asking for myself. That was clear. Um, I would start by forgiving. That’s it? That you’re gonna tell me something stupid like to give myself over to God? Well, I baptized you already, so that’s been taken care of. Uh, no, you didn’t. I rejected that baptism. The water touched your skin. Water counts. I reject that baptism. Fucking hell. How you doing, buddy? Oh, what do you think, Pat? Come on, stop it. Why? What’s the point? I mean, I’m pretty sure that’s littering. I was gonna drown myself in the river, but I’m such a sick swimmer that I’m pretty sure my fighter instincts would have kicked in and not let me drown. I’m so pumped to propose to Shannon. Like, I was really excited to spend the rest of my life with her, then she goes and… This is someone else? And Ted, what a fucking chode. You know, I trusted him. Whatever happened to ”bros before hoes”? It’s just an expression. I don’t think Shannon’s a hoe and I don’t think you’re a hoe. You know, I’m not a big actress, right? Oh yeah, yeah, I know, I know. You do? Yeah, I Googled you. What did you find? Not a lot, honestly. Yeah, I work at a frozen yogurt shop. Worked at a frozen yogurt shop. I’m pretty sure they fired me after I… [End of conversation]